The Emotional Spectrum Controversy
by TheZMage
Summary: The rings of the emotional spectrum come to our favorite geeks.


"Leonard Hofstadter of Earth. Your relationship with Penny inspires great hope in nerds worldwide. Welcome to the Blue Lantern Corps."

The shorter of the two men, sitting in their apartment, paused the Battlestar Gallactica DVD that he and Sheldon were watching and stared at the blue ring that hovered in his room.

"That's a little insulting," Leonard said. "Sheldon what do you think the ring means by that? It's not that farfetched that I'm dating Penny, is it?"

"Oh, yes," Sheldon responded. "Whenever I hit what looks like a dead end in my research, I remind myself that, in a world where you can date Penny, anything is possible and, sure enough, I reach a new breakthrough."

"Fair enough," Leonard conceded. "Wait a minute, why is there a blue lantern ring in our apartment?"

"To recruit you to the Blue Lantern Corps, like it said," Sheldon responded, matter-of-factly. "It just said so."

"Thank you, Sheldon, you're a huge help," Leonard replied sarcastically. "I meant, 'what's it doing here, in our apartment?' It's fictional."

"You don't know that," Sheldon said. "Just because something shows up in a comic book doesn't mean it's fictional. President Obama has shown up in plenty of comics, and he's real. Or it could be that Geoff Johns is picking up the events in a parallel universe, such as in Flash 123, the classic Flash of Two Worlds issue."

"Okay, fair enough. But why me?" Leonard asked. "Why not Gandhi or Mother Theresa?"

"Well, for starters," Sheldon said, "They're both dead. Also, they best embodied the emotion of compassion, which is connected to the indigo light, which really shouldn't be part of the emotional spectrum in the first place. For another thing, because the Blue Lantern rings only work in the presence of a Green Lantern ring, undoubtedly you've been chosen to be my sidekick when the guardians of Oa make me a Green Lantern."

"Right, Sheldon, you're going to be a Green Lantern," Leonard said sarcastically. "I'm sure the ring is on its way to you as we speak."

They both stared at the Blue Lantern ring for a little.

"If you're not going to take the ring," Sheldon said," can we go back to Battlestar Gallactica now?"

"You know what," Leonard said, "I will. I'll take the ring."

With that, the ring slid onto Leonard's finger, and he slowly lifted up into the air.

"So what now?" Leonard asked. "Do I fly off to the planet Odym to receive training?"

"Oh, no, that won't do," Sheldon responded. "Who will drive me to work in the morning?"

"I don't see why you got the Blue Lantern ring," Sheldon said. "My work with subatomic particles provides more hope to the world than you sleeping with Penny."

"Two months ago you were all for it!" Leonard said. "Why do you have a problem with it now?"

"Two months ago I was expecting to get a Green Lantern ring any day now!" Sheldon said. "I didn't expect Leslie Winkle to get one!"

"I don't see why you didn't just take the orange one," Leonard said.

"As I told you," Sheldon said, "The orange light centers around avarice, which is the desire for something that belongs to other people. I don't covet what belongs to other people; other people covet what belongs to me. Clearly that was some dastardly plan by Agent Orange, AKA Larfleeze, to take my genius for himself."

"Look," Leonard said, "the Guardians obviously chose her for some reason. Clearly they just didn't think you deserved it. Why can't you just trust their judgment?"

"First of all," Sheldon responded, "it was established during the Sinestro Corps War storyline that the living planet GL Mogo directs the rings, not the Guardians themselves. Second of all, how do you know that this wasn't a mistake, like Wolowitz's Star Sapphire ring?"

"What makes you so sure that was a mistake?" Leonard asked.

"First of all, all of the other Star Sapphires are female," Sheldon said. "Second of all, that midriff baring costume was not flattering on him," Leonard nodded his agreement on that one. "And, finally, they kicked him out after one day because none of the other Star Sapphires wanted to be around him."

"Okay, true," Leonard conceded, "And the women of the galaxy are so afraid of him now that he got into the Sinestro Corps, so at least he bounced back."

"So, as you can see, clearly Leslie Winkle's lantern was a mistake," Sheldon said. "Which is why you need to help me steal it from her."

"Steal it?" Leonard asked. "Why should I help you steal it?"

"Because it doesn't belong to her," Sheldon said, "And the Guardians will be so happy that I brought it back that they'll make me a Green Lantern as a reward."

"Forget it," Leonard said. "I'm not going to help you steal anything. Why don't you just get really angry and maybe you can join the Red Lanterns?"

"Please be serious," Sheldon said. "I can't go around vomiting blood everywhere. It's unsanitary."

Later that night, Penny was woken up from her sleep by a familiar knocking.

*knock, knock, knock*

"Penny!"

*knock, knock, knock*

"Penny!"

*knock, knock, knock*

"Penny!"

Penny opened her door.

"What, Sheldon?" Penny asked, half asleep and leaning on a large, wooden-looking alien staff.

"I need your help," Sheldon said. "I need to sneak into Leslie Winkle's apartment and steal her Green Lantern."

"Can't you just get your own furniture?" Penny asked. "I'm sure they're cheap at Bed, Bath, and Beyond or something."

"I'm not talking about furniture," Sheldon said. "I'm talking about the weapon that the Green Lantern Corps use to defend the universe."

"Oh, those things," Penny yawned. "Why should I help you?"

"Because," Sheldon explained, "As a member of the Indigo Tribe you embody compassion. Surely you can understand my need to get back the object that rightfully belongs to me that has been somehow stolen by Leslie Winkle!"

"You are one sad, strange wackadoodle," Penny responded, and closed the door.

"Am I to take that as a 'No?'?" Sheldon asked the closed door.

"Oh my god," Penny said, "Leonard, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Leonard said. "I wasn't with Sheldon when he stole Leslie's ring."

"I never expected him to really do it," Penny said, sadly. "So what happened?"

"He jumped off the roof, I hear," Leonard said. "He thought he'd be able to fly with the Green Lantern ring, but it didn't work for him. I'm going down to the morgue to identify the body now. Do you want to come with me?"

"It's the least I can do," Penny said. Penny and Leonard embraced.

Meanwhile, at the morgue halfway across town, a strange voice came, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Sheldon Cooper of Earth.

RISE!"


End file.
